if you cant escape akatsuki, annoy akaktsuki!
by habu hyuuga
Summary: karasu was just trying to put gas in her car in her little country town. when she turned around she saw rain, sky scrapers, and NINJA! a eerie figure in a cloak was coming towards her. "HI! nagato, killing me is mean... WHA dont kill me!
1. Chapter 1

a/n; habu hyuuga here. i am doing my first fan fiction so be easy.

summary: i was just filing up my car when i turned around at a huge noise. i saw skyscrapers and .......NINJA?!?! um.... Kay..... hey! wheres my car!?! the rabid ferrets will get it. soon i seen a mysterious figure coming towards me. i see.....i see......PEIN! "heya nagato! what year is it? how is konan? wheres my car? you know what a car is?" all i got was, glares... and a heavy head. "wha?!?"i mumbled my eye lids closing. "hn." 'that's what all the silent people say'.

disclaimer: i am nowhere near ever own the naruto series. Masashi Kishimoto owns it. not me.

I, am karasu koku. Yes my last name means black and my parents thought it cool too name their daughter 'crow black'. they especially love it when formal events happen so when they call name and they do the thing where they switch it around my names black crow. Any ways, my hair is long black and incredibly straight. It goes down to my thighs and is usually either braided in a low pony tail kind of like a mix between neji's and kin's.

my hair has silver and red highlights that i colored in. lets face nobody really has hair like that. i have deep green eyes with huge pupils. i am 16 and 5'5. i just happen to be wearing black baggy jeanstucked into black, fuzzy boots that covered 3/4 of my shin. i have on a puke green shit that has the horse kanji on it and a fuzzy black zip up sweater. i am a huge naruto fan. i keep up to date on online manga, and on line subtitles.

i head for the door and to the garage. its a nice day in my town. i click the button on the outside of the garage. the garage door opens.(duh) i jump inside to get out my junkyard car. ii love this thing. it stinks, it runs like crap, but its loyal, and that's all that matters. i jump in and start it up.

'crap! im almost out of gas.' better head down to the pump to fill it up.' i hit the gas and drive down to the gas station. my town is rather bare and the gas station with the candy stop is the closest thing we have to a real store. i drive up to the pump on get out. i start to pump the horrid smelling liquind into my vehicle when i suddenly hear a loud noise. almost like a bgggggguuuuwwooom! NOT. boom. i turned around to see what was the racket was. i saw skyscrapers and .......NINJA?!?! um.... Kay..... hey! wheres my car!?! the rabid ferrets will get it. soon i seen a mysterious figure coming towards me. i see.....i see......PEIN! "heya nagato! what year is it? how is konan? wheres my car? you know what a car is?" all i got was, glares... and a heavy head. "wha?!?"i mumbled my eye lids closing. "hn." 'that's what all the silent people say'.

" uuuuuum. dont kill me?"

"why shouldnt i?"

"errrrr... cuz i psychic?"

"prove it."

"whats happened recently?"

"im about to send sasori and deidara out."

"my suggestion, dont."

"why not?"

"he dies"

"prove it."

"sasori has red hair thats short. hes a puppet, a puppet master and was taught everything he knows from his grama. shold i say more in front of all these people?"

"come on."

a/n sorry its short. review and ill give you cheese cake cuz im different!


	2. joining to annoying

a/n: heya! Thank you so much im so happy! I checked this morning and saw I got my first review, and that makes me so happy! Now, im a lazy person so if you reviewed flame or happies, I love you people and you are getting cheese cake. You probably do want me ranting any more so i say ONWARD!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any thing else except my computer.

chapter 2:Joining to Annoying

pein brought me, no, more like forced me into the big sky scraper of a head quarters.

"hey nagato, can i have a rain coat?" i whined.

"my name is pein." he said monotonously.

"suuuuure thing nagato." a retorted.

"you doubt me?" he said in slight disbelief and annoyance.

"if you're not nagato then why did you answer?" i said smugly.

"........ i could tell." he mumbled as we walked through the building.

" can i still have a rain coat?" a whined happily.

"we are in a building." he AGAIN said monotonously.

as we walked done the seemingly never ending hall ways a rather large mass of paper flew in. before the paper could completely reassemble itself i shouted,"konan!"

"pein!?! what the stinking heck?!? why would YOU tell her about me?!? i realize the others are dumb enough but really, you?!?"

" heh, that's just the thing though, i didn't tell her. she just knew." he said, rather amused.

"hee, hee" i giggled.

"don't tell me she was someone you tracked down and caught for knowledge. the guys could do that. you have more important things to be doing right now." she nagged.

"one i didn't track her she appeared in the rain village out of nowhere. two she started spewing information. and three you sound rather contradicting today." he said, establishing authority.

"sorry, I'm just shocked that's all." she apologized.

i started to peel a piece of paper off of her but she swatted me hand away. i decided to show her i was more persistent than the average rock and kept trying. this went on silently fr about five minutes without pein noticing. eventually she gave up and let curiosity get the best of her. i peeled off a piece and began folding little origami objects from art class plus a couple i just happen to know.

"you do origami?" konan asked inquisitively.

"just a little. im lightyears away from your skill." i replied.

"lightyears?"

" an extremely huge amount." i said.

" oh. thanks. wait. how do you know that?" she replied.

"just do." hee hee that's just me.

" we are here." pein directed me into the oh-so-fabulous-interrogation-room. i was immediately tied to a chair and interrogated by a bombing of questions.

"how did you get here?"

"not a clue."

"really?"

"i turned around at a huge noise next to the gas station while i was filling up my car."

"What?!?"

"exactly."

"where are you from?"

" a different continent on the same planet in a different universe."

"excuse me?"

"dimension sorry."

"ok. wait, what? no. never mind. how do you know about us."

"aaaaw but that takes the fun out of it!"

"then wat do you suppose i do with you?"

" im too value able to kill, i cant work on my own. why dont you let me join and then assign me to different cells so i can inform of weaknesses."

"cells?"

"dont play stupid i know the akatsuki works in two person cells."

"name them"

"itachi uchiha and kisame hoshigaki. sasori no akasuna and deidara the idiot. hidan the foul mouthed and kakuzu. madara uchiha and zetsu. konan, nagato, and bodies."

"deidara the idoit? hidan the foul mouthed? aand bodies?"

"i dont like him very much, he is, and im not stupid."

"fine, fine."

"weeeeeeeee!!!!"


	3. oh crap, what the did i just do?

a/n hello! you, you reviewers sbeoplz(people).your awesome, like seriously mega you all get fifteen cheesecakes awesome! now, on average im going to to update around once a week. right now I'm going more than that. other times ill do less. but usually i should update on Fridays cuz( say this this in a British accent with a bratty tone and youll get it.) i don't work on Fridays. but you probably want a story.

disclaimer; i do not now, nor ever will own NARUTO.

chapter three;

' oh crap, what did i just do?'

"what the heck is wrong with you?" peinshouted so loud it shook the room.

"you know, some ones gonna hear you." i state rather proud and amused. remember i am a very immature sixteen year old.

"some one already heard you, you, weeeing!"

_"weeeeing_? are you ok? you dont act like that." i put my hand on his fore head to check his temp. seriously, evil overlords don't copy what others say. especially not nagato. heck, nagato doesn't usually get cranky. he goes to swat(punch) my hand away, but before that im glaring at him full out with my byakugan.

"you have the byakugan?" he says in dis belief. i step back shocked and then start happy dancing.

"yesss! it works! it works i tell you it works! man the people of ame are low on chakra. kisames not eating it all, is he? no you baka he doesn't come to rain. hey guys, it works. cool! we heard you idiot."

"uuuuum...." was all that came out of konans mouth. she just stared.

"what was that?" pein looks at me with a face that says 'what the stinking heck is wrong with this kid? did she loose her mind?

"that was just my voices. we're all equal. just multiple souls in the same body. any ways. as you can see. im psychic. can hold my own agaisnt suckish chounin. and better now as you can see i have the byakugan and i happen to have an advanced knowledge of jyuuken and secret hyuuga techniques.(thnku naruto vs neji epi) sooo. when can i get the cloaky whatnot stuff and see the guys? but better not.. fight some one!" i blabber on.

pein stands up. rinnegan glaring me, i byakugan glare right back.

"who would you like to fight? out of akatsuki." he tries to intimidate me. but i am evil already and am used to all death-glares.

"don't try to glare me nagato. i know where your little control tower is. i, would like to fight itachi. training of course." i reply looks at me and chuckles.

"youare either really, really stupid, or excruciatingly clever." he smirks at the evil grin on my face. i take out my braid and tie it low pony hyuuga style. i stretch and look back at pein.

"nagato. you have no idea. I'm hyuuga, remember?" i stare at him and he looks confused.

"your hair is black with red and silver in it." i snort and roll My eyes.

"its dyed, duh." I'm shocked at how thick he is some times. he walks to the door. he waves at me to come along.

"we'll get your stuff. then I'll call itachi. then we ill will show ou to the underground trainig rooms. i can attest you can find your way around?" he looks at me doubtfully.

"if its any thing like the fanfictions I've read." i mumble quietly under my breathe. ther'es no way i want him to hear.

"hm? did you say something?" i hear konan ask from behind me. crap! i for got about her!

"huh? aww.. nothing." i reply. hopeing to death she buys it. i quicken my pace, geting closer to pein than her. HE didnt hear. SHE may have. as im wlking along the grey cement hallwys i notice that its starting to get darker. the buildings going into an underground hallway. the cobwebs become more frequent and i have to use my byakugan to walk straight. konan, who isnt a deadly match of reflexes and clumsiness can walk in a straight so she just follows our footsteps. pein leads into a much larger room so i turn off my byakugan, hoping its safe. he flips a switch and the room illuminates. itachi is already there. he acknowledges mr=e and walks to the middle of the room.

"pein, you expect me to fight this little girl?" he says it calmly but i know he feels really degraded inside.

"heh. if you want it harder i wont tell you about me. AND i have the voices control." i say this. knowingly, itachi will be confused at the voices part.

pein just had to interrupt , "itachi. this is practice. we fight till i say stop or some one else says stop. now, start!"


	4. itaci vs mysterious little girlme!

a/n listen reviewers, I love you, you get cheesecake, but, ummm., well, something important is coming, and I have to research. Or something like that so please give me a break and know that I wont update a lot for a little while.

reviewers:

deixyunalover

cheetay

im really sorry i cant remember youre name right now(it has an m in it)

you are the glorious people who get cheesecake, and brownies, and RAMEN (cuz everyone loves ramen, at least you should.)

pluss, those who review on (ligitmitly) different chaps get more cheesecake when they review.

onward.

chapter 4: itachi vs. mysterious little girl(me!)

"sharingan!..."

"byakugan!"......"CHA!"

as (now im a person who believes that sharingan was the result of either inbred or over adapted hyuugas, so i think that the byakugan is immune to the sharingan, including mangekyo.)

"you have the byakugan?" itachi mangekyo glares me with no effect. seeing there was no effect i watched itachi's eyes widen. in disbelief.

"what? were you underestimating me?" i sharpen my glare upon him as he flicks out a kunai from what sure as heck seem like the air. his feet scuffling as he readied his stance. as far as hes concernced, i could be some rouge hyuuga anbu. which im not. against him i look like really sucky chunin, only cuz my byakugans better than the sharingan.

"you dont look like a hyuuga." he studies me, wondering if this is a fluke. i study his chakra patterns, memerizing the natural flow so i can see if he is getting ready to attack beforehe actually does. i smirk, then, i back up to pein and steal a kunai fom him. he glares at me with a WHO ARE YOU? AND WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?

"Pein, gimme a break. itachi, my hair is dyed, my mom had green eyes." i give him the best 'if your a prodigy, where'd your brain go?' look i could manage.

"why did you take pein-sama's kunai? what is 'dyed'? " he eased up, realizing i had no weapons of my own. i scoffed, i may be pathetic, but i have hands, that know jyuuken(gentle fist).

itachi's chakra tensed he lunged at me and disapeared. to he normal eye. he was behind to back stab with his katana.

"rotation!" i tried puting out a chkra field and spinning it, just like the resultless practices at home. it worked. i could feel my energy spinning. me along with it. i could feel a thud agaisnt my chakra wall/field. i assumed it was itachi. and guess what? it was. take that prodigy of the moronic inbreds clan.( i dont like uchihas).

itachi goes flying into a wall. no actually, he just flipped over and seadied him self.

'note to self: if he attacks like that, use jyuuken next time. rotation is for weapons and jutsu only.

itachi, feeling no harm from the last attempt, disapears and makes a shadow clone. does he really think i cant se him? he just does not get it. byakugan sees everything. he aproaches from behind again. i flick around, feet noisily clattering against the ground. he sees this and attacks any way. i deflest his kataana with peins kunai. tha=en i use a tae kwon do move on him which involves takeing his arms and then using jyuuken i press chakra points that hurt. alot. forcing him to drop his katana. he throws his knee upward. i pinch his leg in between my elbow and my knee. then i make the best attempt a sixteen yearold girl cold do to throw the twenty year old to the ground. i dont actually get him to the ground, but i do get him away long enough to attack.

"jyuuken: sanjuuni (gentle fist: 32)" face it. the sixty four palm is beyond me. i launch at itachi with all i have(which isnt much). but luckily for me, karasu koku. its enough to prevent him from using his chakra.

"fine then." he says AGAIN monotonly as he prepares to attack with a barrage of weapons. he flick shuriken, kunai, fuuma shuriken, tanto, broken naginata, everything at me.

"rotation!" i spin, this many objects is hard and i am seroiusly running low on chakra. this patern of weapon assults and rotations continue for about four minutes.

"STOP!" pein booms, shaknig the room. i think he used all six bodies for that one.

"you lasted five minutes, more or less(the first part happened quick!) against itachi. given you had the upper hand with that byakugan, and the element of surprise. you re in." pein and itachi sweat drop and stare wirdly as they see a sixteen year old who has stopped grownig and should have matured did a happy dance not even a five year old could match.

"pein- sama, explainhow she had the element of surprise?" itachi turn to pein(nagato) qustinoing his former statement.

"she knows everything about us."

an Muahahahahahahaha! thas thelongest hapter yet. i hope i can keep making longer chaps till i get putin the 10,000+ words section. ahhhhh...... such things are still small notions. im just beginning to , im aware that i am terrible with grammar. no, i am actually great at spelling,but! i cant type worth a broken shuriken, so its pretty bad. sorry. reviewers get,..... lasagna(hope that was spelled write) for dessert and all of the worlds ice cream for dinner. (no one said you had to finish). salut! adios! bye! sayonara! Ciao!


	5. meeting the red dawn

(a/n): konnichiwa! I ai my reviewers.

to mintshadow22; their will be far more ruined prides than itachi's that is for sure! and thnx for use of karasu's name. i just ai references to things i made up.

cheetay; you are so far and by far my most loyal reviewer. if there is anything you want to happen later in the story, please don't hesitate do tell me.

that umm, important thing i need to, spend time on,is 60% done. so soon i will be updating like crazy! 10,000 words section, you will be mine by July! at the latest! now! onward!

if you cant escape akatsuki, annoy akatsuki;

chapter five, go, cinqos, cinq, fiev:

meeting the red dawn

"NANI!" itachi yelled. and i mean yelled.

"hey, hey! i wont tell any one about the little massacre secret and who's behind it. so please calm down, yelly itachi is, well, ooc." i try to calm him down. if he starts to yell again, i wonder if this is really the dimension i think it is.

i feel the wall thud the back of my body. the ground falling from under my feet. itachi has me by the throat against the wall. his fingers tightening around my wind pipe, digging in.

"how do you know about that..." he whispered just so i could mangekyo sharing the red color of my blood if i don't shut up. too bad. it doesn't really work like that.

"your eyes are the colors of your cloak. uchiha spinney eye!" i like spinney things!

serious; shut up hyper!

hyper; but its spinney.

serious; your a moron.

hyper; social! she called me a moron!

social; hey! your the one who's going to get us killed!  
artsy; listen to these words, if you let me, with a semi diplomatic ability,take over this vessel, perhaps we will survive the sorrow of this pitiful, bloody, mess.

social; you sound emo when you talk like that but alright.

serious; fine just as long as it isn't this idiot.

hyper; pretty words...duuuh...doooo... duuuh...(drools)

"my mind is a maze, i happen to know things. don't let that worry you. its the real reason of my new working here any ways." i reply. simple. say your exact thoughts and everyone will listen.

itachi's throat tightens. his eyes widen as he lets me down.

"its like you changed personalities," he had a curious demeanor towards my sudden outward change,"and what do you mean by new working, are you joining akatsuki?

"souls, to be truthful, that is all, no need to be shocked, a simple mind set." i do wonder what he'll think of that.

pein interrupted," yes, we never did stop to get your things, come with me."

"sayonara, itachi, ja ne, painful walls." i wave off as i follow the 'leader' of akatsuki.

pain and i return into the pitch black hallways. i had to follow pein by sound seeing as the chakra i still was enough o have the byakugan open for about a nanosecond. luckily, pein most likely believed in being a rather cliche evil organization leader and had rather heavy footsteps, whether it dramatic effect or the weight of the metal rods and a chakra hard body. the hallways smelt of corpses for reasons i wish i didn't know. then, pein arrived at the first door in about fifteen minutes. the heavymetal door swung open with a blood curdling groan. thats right, not scream, groan. thats what made it even creepier. i the room was a single andle and on either side were sliding doors. pein went to the one on the left and opened it.

"what color nail polish?" he queried.

"i get a choice?"i was shocked. the other akatsuki members only got what was available at the time.

"i case you havent noticed, the akatsuki doesnt have to replace the girls uniform as often."

"hmmph. black."

"boots?"

"high heeled, but not the pointy ones, there useless."

"which is why we dont stock them. fishnet?"

"long sleeved. shorts length on the legs."

"shirt?"

"short sleeved v-cut. ends at the ribs."

"pants?"

"the usual."

"i see you the uniform rules well."

"what else should i do with my time." i fold my the outside i look disinterested, on the inside, even seroius has joined the others for an internal party.

pein comes over to me and asks, "is there any thing else you seem to need."

"can i have a headband?"

"ask zetsu. he doesnt eat the metal and cloth."

"what des he do with it all?"

"i honestly have no idea." he hands me the clothes, cloak, and walks away.

i, being smarter than the average hitai-iate(headband) follow. he leads to a much nicer section of the under ground hidout and leads me to a room with a wooden door.

"This will be your room. across from you is deidara and sasori. to your right, itachi and kisame. across from them, hidan and kakuzu, then tobi, zetsu, and at the end of the hall is my office, if you go there, i suggest you have ligitimate reason or else you will find yourself in a very unfavorable place.

i think everyone, including hyper, shivered.

pein continued," go change into the uniform and meet me in my office. ill prepare your forms."

A/N ya-ta! i got even further than last time! if this keeps happening, ill be in the 10,000 words section in no time! muahhahahahahaa!

evil overlords will always win.

this is always true, in my mind any ways. plus, if part of that scene was confusing, serious, hyper, arsty, social, and, well, the dark one, are the voices in my head. no and in real life theres only three of us.

lock my in a room, full of people, you cant talk to, make me hungry, tired, thistrsty, sweaty, and with no one to talk to cept the voicses in my head, sanity. what sanity?

'i think i left a piece of my sanity in that room'

'a piece'

'missing; sanity, three feet tall, ye wide, siky green hair, answers to muffins'

'that explains a lot'

'missing, voice in head, answers to, 'kukuku, why should i pity _you?'_ looks like me but well, murderous.'

"no comment'

'hey! you! your thinking too loudly!'

yeah...random things me and friends said through out the day. oh , and if a helicopter or an army jet passes by,

"the anbu! they found me!" yeah..


	6. bonus: sign me up!

(A/n); I love you reviewers! Time for….dun, dun, dun, DUN! Extra chapter this week!

Here's to cheetay who is a very loyal reviewer and has reviewed each time!

Now, I have….problems. With swearing. So, I'm going to replace the words that they would normally say with crap, heck, and stink. you'll just have to figure out what subs for what and if they are saying crap, etc., or actually something else.

Note: hidan's words are 'something else'.

disclaimer: i do not own naruto, mission impossible, or any brand name mentioned in this story.

Now onward!

Chapter six, roku, siete, six, sif.

If you cant escape akatsuki, annoy akatsuki!

Sign me up!

i walked into the room that would be mine for as long as i stayed with akatsuki. the walls were all... guess what! black! (a/n my pathetic atempt to understand sacrasm) in the corner was a single bed with a black pillow, whight sheets, and a black blanket. over the bed was a window (gasp) with red blinds completly cutting off all light. there was a door on the other side that led to a bathroom. uggh. im going to have to clean up in here, it is stinking nasty in here. litterally! the bathroom was black and red tiles on the floor, the ceiling was red, andt he walls were black. the only white things were the, sink, toilet, and shower / tub. i stepped in and made due.

i looked at myself in the mirror that was shoved under the bed (some one not like how the look?), i looked awesome. it was at that moment that i noticed my hair went along with the whole akatsuki scheme. huh? really?... i guess that was coincedence. ( really, i just noticed that.) i decided to take my hair. (for those of you who have forgotten it is in a braid.)

now,picture this. im sixteen and 5'4". standing in standard akatsuki pants and boots, a long sleeve fishnet under my top, the kunai and shuriken pouch pein gave me around my waist, my tank top shirt thing, an akatsuki cloak that was open, and, my friends, i love, just love, the hat. im mean come on! it has a bell! a BELL! umm.. an ways. i buttoned up the cloak. hung the now wiped off mirror in the btahroom, a stepped one foot out side my room. i closed the door and started down the hallway. now, as any semi- normal (not) person would be, i was nervous. (okay, i give you that one) soooo, to calm down. i thought about how awesome the situation was and started whistling the mission impossible theme. (i win.)

"du dit di dooooo. dut dut dut duditdi doooo. dun dun dun...(etc.)" i whistled my head as i walked down the hall way really slow. i was acting half like impossibel half like the super slow creepy thing in EVERY horror movie.

as i approached the door of doom i gulped and stopped. i gulped one last time, closed my eyes, and slowly raised my fist to knock.

"youre here. good." i opened my eyes to see pein holding door open for me as i stood there like an idiot.

i walked in and stood next to the guest chair in front of his large mahogany desk. the desk had ornate carvings in it and looked like something out of a medieval castle. somebody explain to me how he got it, please.

"sit down." he said. i realized i was standing there, again, like an idiot, staring at the chair. i sat down, noting how comfy it was.

"all right. simple. do you want to fill out the forms or do you want to tell me now?" pein questioned.

"umm.. ill fill it out myself." he heanded me the couple (*cough* huge stack *cough*)

ill right! ill just sign me up!

(A/N); bonus chapters wont be as long as the other chapters. sorry but hey. bonus chapters=bonus brownies and ice cream.

sooo, review and youll be my friennd for life!


	7. the akatsuki signup forms

(a/n) yeah!

1st: I passed the 5,ooo words milestone.

2: I passed the 10 reviews milestone.

12 reviews.

Thank you readers, I love you soooo much.

This morning I logged on feeling all crappy but when I saw the reviews you picked me right up.

Listen I'm really sorry that I didn't update Friday its just that I went on a sort of 'vacation' and there was no wifi and when I got back, well, I fell asleep on the bean bag ext to the cat before I could actually make to my bedroom. So now im pooped.

Also, you know how I said id update at least once a week or make up for it later? Yeah well, if you cant figure it out,(its pretty obvious) im a girl. So actually I can update once a week 2 weeks out of 3 in a month or 3 weeks out of 4. Cuz well, figure it out. You one week every month? I'm not saying any more.

Trust me you don't want me updating hen because I get really b-word-y , if you know what I mean.

Thank you to;

Akatsuki fanatic

Kung fu fighting

Cheetay

mint shadow 22

\and any other reviewers im sorry I cant remember your name right now.

I remember numbers, meanings, phrases, pages, every thing 'cept names a and faces.

Disclaimer: the chances of me owning naruto are 1 in google times 10 to the googledth power. Kay?

So I other words, I DON'T OWN NARUTO.

On with chapter seven, nana, sept, I don't know Spanish past six, my German books not with me.

Ps. Feel free to report grammars issues. Im bad a grammar so I must improve!

The akatsuki sign up forms

alrighty then lets have a look at this form, eh?

given name:karasu

surname: koku

comments: yes like black crow.

height:5'4"

age: sixteen

comments: shortish people rock!

eye color: green

(if applicable)or: silver

(if applicable) doujutsu: byakugan

(if applicable) clan: hyuuga (im pretty dang sure)

favorite fighting style: viva la jyuuken cha!

chakra type: wind!

comments: hyuugas rule! wind can turn elements gainst eachother!

part 2

member made questions

your view on art:

(reular pov)

i started cracking at his. pein looked up at me.

"nani?" he asked. since when were hi forms funny?

" i can tell who made every one of these questions!" i half wisphered/screamed. yes it is possible. just ask hinata. i learned it from her.

i continued on "dear sasori: art is not what you make with paint or wood or clay. those are just mediums. a method of gaining true art. art is the emotion that someone gets when they see/hear/etc the medium. art is emotions. your puppets and deidaras bombs in the sense are they same art because, 9 times out of 10, theyll achieve the same art, or motion, from those who see it. fear. so in a sense. every battle is art. fear. anger. passion. yes, these are the types of art mostly achived by you and your colleagues. i hope that by agreeing and disagreeing with you. you will understand m view point."

pein stares at me and sweat drops. a big, sweat drop.

"not you too.." he looks really, disapointed. very.

"nani?"im confused. does he not like how i see art?

pein turns around and starts mumbling something about artists, and more arguments and, a cut in the budget.

(paper pov)

do you like explosions:cha! BOMB RULE! i have whole family of pyromaniacs!

do you love money: yes i do kakuzu. it is my precious. and if you so steal a single penny from me or more. i with attack at night, rip you open before you can harden and take all five hearts out of you. i will tie up all of you threads. drain your blood for hidan and then feed your meat to zetsu. i will then proceed to give your empty carcass to sasori or a pupet while i shove one hear down hidans hroat, give ont to zetsu for his birthday and sell the other three on ebay. so guess what? yes im in love with my money so stay AWAY.

whats your religion: stink the heck off hidan. i dont give a crap about you. by the way. i know what jashinisms population is; one.

favorite kind of sword: katana thank you very much. sharp and light weight. good for the small and quick.

your impression of little brothers: my little brother is my dog. i dont have one. but really itachi? it would have been better if you only killed him. and trust me. i HATE uchihas. sorry but i loathe that self-centered moron. he is such a/an **************** ************** *****************censored********* *********** *********** these days, that litlem%$^$#&&%#^^&*(()(*&^%$#!#$%^&*(_)(*&^%$#!#$%^&*() beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

origami; i believed we already disused this konan.

god: nagato, your not a god, your a moron. stop trying to tell people your god. im polytheistic, thank, you, very, much.

(reg pov)

"im done! je finis!" i yell in nagatos face.. hes staring at me like a bug that keeps hitting the window.

"oi (i wave my hand in his face.) waz wid da pity stare buddy?" my voice sound like a tree yearolds.

"you were talking to the paper and im pretty sure you can swear worse than hidan when comes to itachi's little brother." he keeps staring at me and then turns to mumble something like. gonna get in the asylum first espionage. probably already been there.

"nope. not the asylum. but the metal therapy people were nice." i say. not trying to t=freak him out or anything. its just the truth. truth isnt scary right? oh. wait the truth is frightening. just below new york city on the scare scale. ( im sper cityphobic, i live i the middle of no where. took m parents twenty years to get wifi here. idont think wifi's been around tha long?)

pein just takes the form from me.

"What will you do now?" he inquiries.

"i gotta go back to my room."

"nande?"

"have you seen the bathrooms?" (yes i already cleande it youl understand soon.)

"no. and i. do. not. ever. wnt. to."

"yep bye!" i skip away like the five year old i am inside to my room. then i flop o my bed and pull out my DSi. for some reason. this place has wifi? any ways i basi ally start memorizine narutopedia. especially the page on yugito ni'i. why/ ou ask? cuz shes stinkin awesome. no other real reason.


	8. confusing mornings

(A/n) im late. I couldn't use a computer for this week since, …something… stopped me. So yeah..

Listen, I got my first flame and it was harsh. Basically what im saying is. This is my first fanfic and no one is perfect so I need the occasional flames to improve. So If u want flame its ok, but please refrain from swearing and using exclamations. You know who you are. But, enough of that now to thank my faithful reviewers!

To cheetay: thank you so much for reviewing all the time. It makes me happy and want to keep writing.

To wind wolf 1988: thanks. I like that.

To mint shadow 22: thank you for what you did, I needed that.

For further reference, I am perfectly aware my grammar stinks but it would be helpful if you pointed out what mistakes I made. I know my grammar is terrible and trust being inept at typing doesn't help but I don't know how I made mistakes.

Plus the reason karasu has the byakugan is because im some naruto obsessive freak like a good chunk of you. Who believes the byakugan is real. Trust me. I believe in every thing. So I thought that her mother should be like a half hyuuga who's father was normal so she had a regular last name. so karasu's mom got it from her full hyuuga mother. Her mom had it because it is a dominant trait . So karasu is a forth hyuuga who looks just like one when her hair isn't dyed . Now since you cant be a forth something and look completely like something. She got her fathers green eyes.

really, if you dont get it, just go with it.

Note: her eyes still turn silver when she uses the byakugan.

Plus: it's a crack fic people!

Now that I've bored you too death.

Disclaimer: I do not own naruto, Nintendo, windows, mission impossible, or any thing else.

Chapter eight, 8, hachi, ocho, huit, acht.

confusing mornings

after that i looked at the time on my DSi; 0:00. ' well thats just helpful'

hyper 'could be worse.'

serious 'how? you idiot'

social 'hey! i figured it out!'

hyper and serious' what!'

social ' hyper is like zetsu's white side and serious is the black side!'

serious 'no. not really i mean. im not a mean person, i just look at the big picture.'

hyper 'yeah and really. the white side isnt hyper he's just, nice. and serious can be nice'

serious 'thank you'

i got up and looked around for a clock. if this world has lights and walkie talkie's then they have to have a clock. i search all around my room and the hallway. i didnt want to disturb any one, or worse. i couldn't find any clock any where. the blinds were the kind that are attached on both sides. so they could only be operated by the little strig thingies, and im lame, truth be told, i havent a clue how to use those things. yeah, its pretty bad.

i huff and go back to my room. i sit down and look back to my DSi. 0:09. nani! then its hits me. my DSi is in military time! it's midnight wiitth that i plop on to my bed and go to sleep.

time skip

i feel well rested but it was still dark out. man my dream last night was awesome! i got sucked into the narutoverse! i open my eyes but i can see any thing. huh? i flop my hand over to my nightstand. it wasnt there. "NANI?"'

"oi! keep it down, un! im sculpting, so be quiet, yeah?" i hear an eerily familiar voice yell at me. except one thing, the last time i heard that voice, it was coming from my haed phones and computer speakers, not life.

then, it hits me. soooooome dream, huh? (badly attempted sarcasm) i then run out ito the hall and shout again,

"what time is it!" i screech at the top of my lungs. i hear a grumble and scuffling feet. success! the door clicks and a very annoyed iwa ex-nin pops his head out.

"time for you to shut up! yeah,...oh? hmm? the new person's a little gir- oww!" i had run up and pulled his top not.

"psych!" i yelled as i ran back to my room and locked the door. i then decided to annoy him further.

"oh, deidaraaaaa? you wouldnt wanna blow me up. i know stuff that would make you squeal, things that pein-sama(ill have you know i grumbled the -sama,) needs.

"how the heck(not actually heck) do you know that!"

personality switch!

"alright you clay bomb barbie doll! two things, one, i know a lot more about you than that, including the secret of your jutsu, and two, GO TO BED!"

"weird little stinker, un." i scuffling of feet let me feel easy enough to go sit down.

i easily fell back asleep.

second time skip

personality switch!

i woke up to a banging on the door

"wake up! leaders having a meeting! get up and go to the meeting hall!" it was too early to worry about who's voice this was.

"yigemunghumh shhurggehh." ( yeah sure)

" whatever, youre fault."

well, at least im already dressed. my hair was in a braid so brushing it was easy. i brushed my teeth. with the tooth brush that came oyt of thin air and walked out into the halway.

'now, where heck is the meeting hall?' (cue the rock that falls on dumb people)

i walked up to the room that would most likely still have someone in it and knocked.

"im not the last one? wow... come in!" i walked in to see just who i was expecting. sasori no akasuna.

"uh, hi?"

"nandeyo? hayaku." (what do you want? hurry up.)

"wheres the meeting hall?"

"uuuuugh. come on." he signals me to walk next to him.

we walk down the halls of the labyrinth that this place. sasori turned to me,

" im assuming your the new person we were informed of?"

"sheeesh. does every one know?"

"no. just me and my partner, deidara, the one you annoyed the crap out of earlier?"

"heh. yeah, about that."

"what?"

"oh? othing, i just like saying that."

"right. you were told that everyone has a partner right."

"trust me i know lotsa stuff. lotsa stuff i shouldnt."

"yes that would make sense. you dont exactly look like the fighting type."

"hey. i lasted five minutes around itachi and survived! i was completely out of chakra about to faint and aching though."

"yeah. but it was trainning. he goes suprisingly easy during training."

"that was training?"

"my point exactly."

"meh."

(A/N) yeah! review! please! sorry the grammar is terrible. something is wack with my key board. legitimately.

cheesecake and cookies for all.

sorry iff i change things i wrote around. im too lazy to check and there are such things as typos. i have lots.


	9. bring ur D20 iz da 1st encounter

(A/N) heya! Reviews! You people make me yayful! Thanks to:

Cheetay

Mint shadow22

Thank you, you people make me happy!

Sorry I couldn't update this Friday I said id usually update on Fridays, not always. And, I was busy. Plotting destruction upon the world from an attic. Yayful!

Well, yeah. Read and review! Chocolate ice ream and brownies! And the noodle curry bowl I had for lunch.

ONWARD!

Chapter nine, 9, neuf, neuvo, kyu.

Bring Ur D20 iz da 1st encounter!

(Please tell me some one got the reference there.)

Sasori turned to me and spoke,

"You know your really late, right?"

I did the guilt and pathetic laugh at myself and replied,

"Heh. Yeah. I… have no idea where I'm going. This is a labyrinth of cement, cobwebs, and shadows."

Sasori looked like he was all too used to this. Probably had to help Deidara.

"So did you just figure some one would be left? What if I wasn't there? I know I'm the last one."

"I figured if anyone was left it would be you. Knowing you, you'd probably think the meetings are a pointless waist of time. Plus you could just have Deidara tell you."

Sasori turned to me, a bewildered look on his face, walked in front of me, faced me and stopped.

"Oof. Oi! What is that for!" what the heck is he doing?

"Knowing me? How could you know me? How did you know that?"

"Sheesh. I told you, I'm in this cause I got the brains, not the fight. I am a strategist, plus, like I told Deidara, I know things, things I shouldn't know."

Sasori looked at me like I was crazy, moved to the side and continued walking.

"You know what? I don't want to know, it'll waste time. Anyways, at least you don't have plant-like things growing off your shoulders.

"Tch. Predictable. Don't pick on Zetsu, he's nice!"

"What the heck is- no. you'll find out for yourself when he tries to eat you."

"If he tries to eat me, Ill eat him!"

"You're a cannibal!"

"Nope, I'm a vegetarian."

"Wha? Yeah, I'm not going to ask."

"That would be best."

I see light pour into the hallway as we walk into a wide but short room. Short because it has a wall there, with a huge door. A fancy door.

'Uh. Brilliant. Who thought that up? Evil guy 3 million B.C.?'

Serious 'this is Madara here. Think about it.'

Hyper 'creep'

Social 'yup.'

"Were here!"

I run up and hug the door. It opens on me. I crash. In front of every one. Not good.

"Crap."

"what took you so long?" if I hadn't gone the bathroom before I left I'm pretty sure I would've wet my pants when he glared at me.

"Well, no one exactly told me how to get here, well, Sasori did. Just now."

"And were you paying attention as Sasori showed you your way here?"

"Uh, umm, well, you see…. There happened to be this really fascinating conversation we were having, sooo, no, not at all."

This is the moment when all akatsuki members other then moi decided to face palm. Kisame then decided to speak up,

"Who knew akatsuki was hiring little girls, huh?" his grin left his face as he saw me grinning evilly right back.

"For one, I'm sixteen which is older than Deidara when he joined and if you say I'm short, well I'm '5"4. Which is only two centimeters shorter then Sasori. And if you say I look weak, well, any decent ninja would know that it isn't just muscle strength that wins a battle. Fight smart, not strong."

"How do you know how I joined, hmm?"

"How do you know _exactly _how tall I am?"

(You should be able to figure out who said that.)

"Very well then, as you all can see, we have a new member."

Pein turned to me,

"Would you like to introduce yourself?"

"Uuh. Thank you. My name is karasu koku. I am here because I know things about you that you partners probably don't know. I know all of akatsuki plans, and guys, really, your questions on the form are obvious."

"Black crow?" Kisame raised an eyebrow at me.

"It's better than shark, fish boy."

"What did you just say?" he started to pull his sword of his back.

"I said I'm a wind type chakra nature?"

"Really? My hearing is bad."

"Fewwwf."

Then I looked at the room around me. There was the oh so helpful big pretty door. On the other side was Pein's big suck the life out of things statue from heck. Around the walls were four or five ornate wall sconces.

(a/n) sorry it's short; I can't keep up using those big long chapters. I'm way to lazy for that. Review and you desserts, flame and you get katon: goukekkyou housenka. If I spelled that right.


	10. wall of doom number two

(an) oh mi kami!. I am really really really sorry! I am really busy. I joined some crazy triathlon thingy and I realized I couldn't do it. So I have spent every minute at my house sleeping. Eating. And sleeping. I think I died a couple of times too. Anyways, let me thank my reviewers:

mint shadow 22:thank you! Yeah I know. Éclairs!

Cheetay: thank you so much! You been since chapter one!

Night dae: thank you and welcome to my story!

Now, remember, if any of you want to see some thing later in the story just tell me. Ill even _consider _pairings.

This is to clear something up for some of you.

Karasu= crow

Koku= black

Karasu koku= crow black

Koku karasu= black crow

Got it? Good. Gomen nasai for the confusion.

Arigatou gozaimasu to reviewers!

Visitors And hits; I can see you. Sorta. Gomen nasai that was creepy.

if you dont know what any of that means just tell me.

deserts of all kinds for reviewers.

disclaimer: i don not own naruto, naruto shippuden, or akatsuki.

chapter ten, juu, dix, dizet, dies

wall of doom number two!

"tell us then, which questions were ours?" kakuzu asked, obviously eager to hear about money.

"wow. kakuzu, yours was the money question. hidan, yours was the religion question, kisame, yours was the sword question, itachi, yours was the little brothers question, deidara had the bomb question, sasori had da'art question, konan, origami, pein , god." i answered while every one sweat dropped at pein and gaped at me.

"hee. hee." i walked around the room staring at the akatsuki members in the face. when i get to deidara i slip. i look up to see a banana peel. what the heck? i stand up and shout at the ceiling,

"oh. the universe just hates me, doesnt it?" i slip again.

"zut!" i scream (french 4 dang it!)

"what the ... ... what kinda ... up word is that? you ...!" hidan not so sweetly screeched in my face. (word censors not to scale)

"french you baka!"

"french?"

an evil grin spreas across my face. i came up with the best idea ever. shouting french at ninjas. weeeeee!

"je n'aime pas ils bete et bavard comme hidan. hidan est un crayon bete." (i do not like stupid and talkative boys like hidan. hidan is a stupid pencil.)

"what did that mean?" kisame asked

"il est mon idea a ponce avec et kisame, nages, il poisson." (it is my idea to think with and kisame, swim, fish boy.)

"SILENCE!" meep!" i will not have my organization (s'not yours) become a quarelling arena! karasu, keep your languages to your self! every one is dismissed." that as pein. probably the longest thing ive heard from him that wasnt a 'the world will know pain' speech.

i walk towards the door mumbling to my self,

"sheesh, he makes it sound like i said a bad word. hmm, i should get hidan a swear jar for his birthday. hee hee"

i walk out the ornate door a realize some thing. how the heck am i going to get back. i look around at the halway in front of me, straight , blank, but i know ill get lost. all the sudden i feel a tug at my arms. a heft shoves some thing under my arms. with a flip a turn and who knows what. before i can react im shoved against a wall by two certain artists. oh, great, just what i need. to be shved agaisnt random wall of doom number two. i glare at sasori. i thought we were friends, and then at deidara. how could you betray me, my fellow pyromaniac? even though i hate him for a certain event that i think i prevented.

"how exactly do you know our pasts? hmm?" deidara was rather ticked that i know how he joined akatsuki. but seriously, it was itachi, its not embarassing. any ways the same thing happende to me, and im sixteen!

"come on, deidara! were supposed to be bomb buddies! dont do this to me!" i plead hoping not to reveal the whole 'other world' thing.

deidara eased up a bit. "you like bombs, un?" it seems i peaked his interest. he raised his eyebow and had an inquisitive look in his eye. i assumed it was the same with the other eye but you could never tell with the girly man bangs, (sorry if theirs fan girls, im picking on all the characters so please deal with it.)

"did you not readmy anwsers on the form?" i stare at him in disbelief.

"well, you see, un. i was sculpting and when i got it i got clay on it so...,yeah."

"you blew it up didnt ya?"

"how do you know?"

"how many ties do i have to go throudh this?"

"what ever, (un) (this is a waste of my time.)" both of them say. they let go a start to walk away. i have to get back to my room.

"hey guys?" i start to say. they look back at me like 'what does she want now?'

i answer that, "can you help me back?

'sweat drop'

(a/n) yeah! havent updated for so long! as usual sorry about my hideous grammar. tell me what deserts you want! cheesecake and eclairs for all!


	11. crazy crap!

(a/n)listen I'm really, really sorry about the wait on updating I just went on a … vacation for a while and I could not bring my laptop with me. Heck I did not bring my lap top, mp3 player, cell phone, nor any of my video games.

Okay I am assuming by the end of this chapter I will have over 10,000 words which will make me very happy! Again I figured I would not make it to the 10,000 words section until around my twentieth chapter!

I want to give a special reward to who ever does my thirtieth review. If you want a bonus chapter, something special to happen, a paring , or a miniseries just tell me and you can get that. Along with a banquet of deserts and ramen!

I have decided to start doing my entire chapters on Microsoft since if I do them on fan fiction I can not correct my grammar as easily and I am pretty sure we all know how bad my grammar is.

My reviewers:

Tsarina torment

Mintshadow22

Starry123

Crazy and happy

For any clarification's baka means moron.

Disclaimer: I do not own naruto in any way shape or form. I am merely a person with a laptop.

Last time on if you cant escape akatsuki, annoy akatsuki!

"hey guys," I start to say. They both look back at me like 'what does she want now?'

I answer that, "can you help me back?"

'sweat drop'

Chapter eleven, 11, juuichi, onze, once, elf, unsprezece unsprezece.

Crazy crap!

"you really are pathetic you know that, yeah?" Deidara raises his eyebrow at me.

"urusai will you? (shut up) I do happen to know how your jutsu works." how long will it take for them to realize that it is practically impossible to navigate that labyrinth. (labyrinth is an awesome word)

Sasori shakes his head, "I doubt I shall ever understand how you manage to do that."

I look at him with a big grin on my face, "same reason I know that (checks wikipedia) Deidara hates pilaf!"

Deidara just stares at me for a while, the on his face says 'you are such a creepy girl I did not even know but now I do'

"trust me, you do not." I Stare at him with my deepest evil glare hoping he got the message.

Silence then consumes the halls as we walked back through the tunnels to the rooms. I wish that some one would put in some lights, but no, that would detract from the theme. Truly, I did not know if I was stepping in or on cement, gunk, or just plain out nothingness.

I could feel my face light up as we approached an area that was familiar; the bedrooms. I wonder if I could get Pein to call them dorms. Hee hee, akatsuki dorms.

Sasori and Deidara filed into their room. I, being myself, just stood there in a daze.

Then a blonde head poked out and stated, "you do know that were here right?"

That snapped me out of it, "oh yeah! Bye then!" I wondered what to do now. There really was not much I could do in my room. Then I realized and ran to konan's room. I stood beside the door hoping she would come out and find me instead of me having to knock and risk,…., I do not really know nor want to know. I took a sticky note out of thin air. I didn't know I could do that? I tried again. I got a pencil. Yay! I have crazy crap powers!

I wrote ; konan, can I talk to you? On the piece of paper and slid it under the door. Some one must of noticed because I heard a shuffling and then the door clicked open.

The blue haired kunoichi stared at me, "yes?"

"can you draw me a map?", I put on my best stupid grin.

"why?" I could tell it was more of a 'why me?' but who cares?

"I can NOT navigate the underground maze by memory. I have to see some thing in order to memorize it? Kay?"

Konan stared…

"I knew you would have paper with you." this time i spoke the truth, "quest-ce c'est vous dessinez moi une carte, sil vous plait?" (would you(formal) draw me a map please?)

Konan stared….

"whatever. I'll draw you the map."

"yosh! Arigato gozaimasu!" (all right! Thank you very much!)

Finally feeling tired I went to my room and plopped on my bed. I tossed and turned. Dang! these beds are made of what? Card board? After I while I felt my eyelids tug.

BAANG! BAANG!

The knocks on my door were more than enough to wake shikamaru, nonetheless me, who just fell asleep.

"nandeyo?" I half snarled back! (what do you want?)

"Pein wants to see you, again." I did not recognize the voice.

"does he know anything of sleep!"

"I don't - know! But I didn't - swear the first time. So -you! You better - get up!" (- = censored ) okay.. Now I know who it is.

"ah! Urusai! Bakatare!" (shut up moron!)

"ah - what the - ever." I hear footsteps walking away. Oh well, shikata ga nai (it can not be helped) I guess I got to go see him. I stand up and head out. I see that the door to Pein's office is open. So I wander in and see Pein standing there.

"you told me that I should not send Sasori and Deidara to Suna. Why?"

"because Sasori dies and Deidara loses his arms." (what happens to Gaara makes me cry every time I watch; twice)

"Deidara loses his arms?"

"yeah. One gets crushed by sand and the other get mangekyo'd to oblivion."

" I see. I going to need more information but in he mean time I'm going to send you Sasori and Deidara on a mission. A small one. It will mostly be you but I am going to have them watch over just in case."

"okay and I learned some thing!"

Pein furrowed his brow, "what ?"

"I have crazy crap powers!"

"crazy.. crap?"

"yup!" I pull a hatchet out of no where, "I am jonny logginz!"

(A/n) muahahahahahahahahahaha! fear the power of crazy crap!


	12. mission! part 1

(a/n); heya! I'm trying to start updating every week now! I'm sorry if last chapter didn't have very much going on in it. I've just gotten to get an idea of what to do. Hopefully, ill have enough time to get this done ad posted by this Friday. (That's what day it is today)

To my reviewers

Mintshadow22; you were reviewer 30! Make a request!

Night dae

Katarina wolffe

Starry123

Thank you! Éclairs for all. Same with ice cream and Swiss rolls. Note any one who does not know what Swiss rolls are is some one I feel deeply sorry for.

Disclaimer: I do not own naruto shippuden, naruto, or the akatsuki.

Nor do I own mission impossible, the French language, or any such thing like that mentioned in this chapter.

Note; do not read if you are afraid of logs.

'Chuckle' that was fun to say.

Last time if you can't escape akatsuki, annoy akatsuki!

"I see. I am going to need more information but in the mean time I am going to send you, Sasori, and Deidara on a mission. A small one. It will mostly be you but I am going to have them watch over just in case."

"Okay! I learned something!"

Pein furrowed his brow, "what?"

"I have crazy crap powers!"

"Crazy…crap?"

"Yeah," I pull a hatchet out of no where, "I am jonny logginz!"

If you can't escape akatsuki, annoy akatsuki!

Chapter twelve, 12, juuni, douze, twaalf, zwalf, doce, tolv.

Mission! Part one

"Where did that come from?" Pein was confused, why would she have a hatchet?

"I don't know." I shrugged, how the heck was I supposed to know where the hatchet came from? It just sort of did.

"Any ways you've about ten minutes to pack and meet Deidara and Sasori at the door. If you know enough about Sasori, you won't push your luck with being late."

"Hai!" (Yes sir) I hurried out the door.

Knock, Knock.

"What did you forget to say?" Pein seemed to already know.

"About how many days should it be?"

"Why should you need to know?"

I face palmed, "Nagato, your dead bodies might not need to change their clothes after few days, but a sixteen year old _living _person does."

"Five days, two out, one to complete task, two in."

"Okay! 'I guess ill be packing for seven then'.

Times skip*****************************

Sasori looked at me from inside hiruko, "it has been fifteen minutes"

Tick mark, "you know what? You might wanna start enjoying your time instead of counting it because you're not as eternal as you think you are!"

Deidara looked shocked and I bet Sasori had some sort of reaction because I heard a lot of wood banging around in there.

"How the heck do you know that?"

"I might, happen, to know, how you die. But don't worry, I think I prevented it."

"That is scary, un."

"Sasori? What was the noise coming from hiruko?" I ask.

"I may have jumped"

"you jumped?"

"you don't here stuff like that every day!"

"but wouldn't that only make one thump?" there was a large thump and a couple little ones.

"I am not telling?"

"and just leave us hanging like that?"

Deidara was currently getting a kick out of the fact that Sasori jumped while inside hiruko.

"fine. That was my head coming off and rolling around."

Now we were both on the ground laughing our heads off.

Sasori seemed ticked off at this, "can we get going now?"

"Hai! (un)" we stood up in an instant and started acting like respectable ninja.

I turned to Deidara, "sooo. What's the mission?"

"you're going to kill some weakling that ticked off some rich piece of crap in grass, un."

Kill. I am going to have to kill some one. No. nononononono. How? I started lightly moaning and whimpering as I thought to myself. Thought more I tried to make easier, the harder the idea got.

We were walking in the forest outside of ame and it was kind of muddy. On the way out I reveled in the cool and usefulness of my hat to get rid of rain. We kept walking for three hours until we reached a town. Luckily for me, there was no hills because I hate hills. The town wasn't a large one but it wasn't tiny. It had nice stores and cute little houses.

We stopped at a fancy restaurant, "Sasori, why someplace this nice?"

"you haven't gotten your pay check yet, this is nothing."

"no wonder Kakuzu does it."

"creepy child."

"urusai." (shut up)

The waitress came over. She took one look at us and shivered while her eyes grew wide in fear. 'dang. I feel bad for her, but I could get used this' she handed us are menus and hurried away as fast as possible with out attracting attention. 'hmm. I bet they make a killer oshinko roll here, but I want to try the dango. maybe ill get a little of both in case I don't like it.'

This time a different waitress came out. She looked at us and you could see her fake smile twitch, "h-hello. U-um can I…g-get you something to drink and-d eat-uh…" she was breathing hard and her voice was wavering. 'this is sad. I'm going to help the poor girl'

"sure! Ill take tea and the half and half combo plate! Arigatou gozaimasu! (thank you very much!)"

"a-and what w-would…..youlikeonit?"

"oshinko roll and dango please," I put my hand on the shaking girls shoulder, "you don't have to be nervous. If you're new, the best thing to do is to act like you live here. It's easier to beg forgiveness than to ask permission."

The waitress's eye widened in surprise and she put on a real smile, "thanks. What would you two like?"

"obudan." (something with eggs in it and also means bomb.)

"tea."

Those two said it as cold as they could while stinking glaring at the girl. Her smile her turned back into hyperventilation while she nodded and full out ran back.

"well that killed any confidence I gave her! What they - was that! Cant you see she was deathly afraid of us!"

Sasori glare at me, "she _should _be deathly afraid of us."

I looked at the employee area. They were all standing there whispering and pointing. I couldn't tell whether it was due to 'the nice akatsuki' or 'the other two'. I decided to test my theory. I snapped my fingers and got a rubber mallet.

I smacked Deidara and Sasori on the head, "a tu!" (to you! French)

"what the - was that, (un.)!"

I heard giggling from the stand and one or two gasps at pulling that trick.

"ma travaille est finis." (my work is finished)

(a/n) muahahahaha! that's what you get for being jerks. French speaking, short, sixteen, short tempered, girl with mallet.


	13. mission! part 2

(A/N) haven't updated in months so, so, sooo sorry. Gomenasai! See at first it was to weeks of vacation, then the gymkhana and another gymkhana, then the fair, then another gymkhana, then camping, then a party then more camping and then now.

My only thing to back all of this up is, well, I may just happen to have a life after all. Yeah… Not really, but, enough crap to keep me busy.

If you ignore that, I'm amazed, I've finally made it into the 10,000 words section, and courtesy of you yay-I-full people, I HAVE 40 REVIEWS. Like most first time writers, I was expecting one two, three, maybe, if you count my friends.

Anyways, keep in mind. I know I have stinky grammar, but I'm not aware of _how._ You guys gotta tell me.

Disclaimer: I do not own naruto, the akatsuki, any anime or abridged references or any possible brand/ copy righted references in this fan fiction.

Chapter 13, thirteen, treize, juusan, dertien, trembedhjete, brettan. Etc!

Mission! Part 2

The two of them sat there glaring at me for two hours, two minutes, and I tried my best to talk at two seconds, its hard to when you're staring at the clock,

"Well, what now?"

"Nandeyo, un?" (What do you want (rude)) Deidara snapped.

"Food, duh." wasn't it obvious?

"How is that our problem, un?" (Somebody's cranky. Then again, I did just hit him on the head.)

"You scared the waitress away, UN." Hee, Hee. I wonder if he will notice.

"Why did you say un, un?" bingo.

"Because you do un." muahahahahahahahahaa!

"No I don't, un."

Sasori interrupted,

"Yes Deidara, you do."

"What the - Danna! What the - are you doing siding with her, un?"

"I'm not siding with her I'm siding with the truth."

"mmmhmmm" I stuck my tongue out at him. Man, where's the food? I looked over. Great they're in their great huddle o' waitresses,

"Hey guys, cant we just steal the food?"

They looked over at me, Sasori answered,

"Well yeah, do you want to?"

"Well, that _would _be mean and cruel… I like it!"

*big. Synchronized. Massive. Sweat drop.*

"Sheesh"

_-_behind the restaurant _-_

"ok, what now?" I ask, excitement dripping from my….well…I would say tongue but it is kind of every where. Any ways.

Deidara stared,

"you really are that clueless aren't you?"

Me + what he said = death glare. Really, I swear, you could see the black shadow rays of doom coming from my eyes.

Sasori shook his head,

"any ways, we will have you do it karasu since you need the practice."

"heh? Umm alright, any tips before I probably get caught?"

"your specialties?"

"fighting, wind style, fighting, byakugan, fighting, random crap, fighting, nothing."

"random crap?"

"I could probably knock some one out?"

"do you have ANY genjutsu?"

"nope! Not at all!"

"take out a kunai, be as silent as possible, knock out any one who gets in the same room as you, don't let them see you, obviously, but really, don't, if you do you will have to kill them, and I'm guessing you don't feel like doing that,"

I was playing with my fingers, counting,

"wow! that's the most you've ever said!"

"Are you nervous?" blowing off my counting comment.

"no."

"really? You seem like some who would."

"hey! Who do think I am?"

"some random girl who fell out of the sky."

"you know, that is actually pretty close."

--

So I headed in the back door. Thank you feudal-ish ninja society for not having finger prints scanners (I'm saying there aren't). I looked around; it was a simple, but pretty, kitchen. The chef was over in the other room so, yeah. I snoop through the cabinets as quietly as possible. Sadly, some one hears me.

"hey! Who's in there?"

I drop to the floor and hide in an empty cabinet with a curtain. The cabinet was small enough that even though I am small, it was a tight squeeze. Which worked out for me because he didn't expect some one to fit in there?

I mentally shouted 'log!' and look-y for me and the crazy crap! A small kawarimi sized log falls on his head and knocks the dude out. I scuttle out of the cabinet and catch the guys before he goes 'thud! On the floor. I shove him in the corner and snap my fingers, log goes poof!

I search around the kitchen and finally find what seems to be the egg dish Deidara wanted and my Inari roll. I quickly grab them and go.

Outside I see Deidara and Sasori waiting arms crossed. They raise their eyebrows when they see me come out, alive, not chased by a hundred ninja.

"what?"

"how did it go, un?"

"dropping small logs on people's heads seems to be a good way to knock them out."

"not asking, (un)" they said simultaneously.

A raise my finger,

"that would be best"

We go to a field and sit down to eat our food, well, me and Deidara did. Sasori, well,

Think wizard of oz; "oil can, oil can." yeah, I may exaggerated.

After we were eating in ever eternal silence I got curious,

"what time is it?"

"noon. Approximately."

"are we staying in this town or the next one?"

"Well, the guy you're supposed to kill is in the next town so, we will stay here and go tomorrow, the place is nearby enough to get there by the afternoon comfortably walking and It would be best to kill him at night."

"you guys are aware that the stealth of the night will be blown by my nervousness and turn in to a full blown fight right?"

"yeah, but night time fights are more fun to watch."

"you guys are jerks"

"we are aware of that, un."

"well -censored for karasu's pitiful annoyance and swears- that!"

(A/n)hee, the next chapter is going to be fun to write, hard , bad , and grammar wise a disaster, but guess what? No matter how hard it is to write a fight scene, it will be fun.

Yeah, well I'm just glad I updated again.


	14. exgennin jerk!

(A/N): DON'T KILL ME! *hides behind rock*

Meep? Fewf, I figured were going to kill me for not updating! (do NOT let that give you any ideas! Okay, sorry I was busy. Really. That and I'm really, really, lazy person who can't type to save their life. So yeah,… my not updating is probably what has made you guys slow is it not? Any ways,

Reviewers:

Dreamingneverfails: thank you very much! If you review next time you can ask for a desert.

Mint shadow 22: thank you…. mint shadow! I'm just as lazy as you are! So deal with it!

Please excuse my ranting, I happen to know mint shadow personally.

Disclaimer: Habu hyuuga does not and most likely will not ever own the Naruto series or any of the characters in it. Habu hyuuga also does not own any other possibly copyrights or trademarks mentioned in this fan fiction.

To anyone who may review,

If you give me ideas, there is a very good chance I will use them unless they are something I am completely opposed to. Towards Most things I am not.

Any ways

Chapter 14, fourteen, juyon, quatorze, Vierzehn, catorce

Ex-gennin jerk!

I woke up to the same pretty field we ate lunch in. or was that dinner? Eh well, you know that you are living the life when the only time you have to keep track of is whether or not it is night or day, which, even for me, easy an easily solved question. I mean, just look at the sky, dang it!

I looked around Sasori was just sitting there playing -AHEM working on his puppets. Yes, I am definitely going to give him my goat marionette, 'goatee' for his birthday. At least when he is occupied he isn't so dang impatient.

"It is about time you woke up."

Dang it!

"Well dang it! Maybe I sleep!" Honestly, I had no idea whether or not he sleeps.

"You have a plan ready yet, hmmm?" Deidara questioned.

"Honestly I have no- HEY! When did you get up dang it?" I jumped about fifteen feet in to the air flailing. For my reflexes, I was still very clumsy and unaware of my surroundings, you know, walking into walls and stuff.

Deidara put a, how do I explain it? I guess a -_- look on his face for lack of a better explanation,

"What is your problem, un?"

"Not funny Deidara. Umm, I have no idea how so I guess I wing it. What's this guys fighting style anyways?"

"Hhmm? Just your average rouge gennin using his not so much abilities to take advantage of civilians, and some bank that hired us. So yeah. Just kawarimi, bunshin, henge, kunai, and shuriken, yeah."

"So he's pretty lame."

"Says the one who freaked out when we told her she had to kill some one." Sasori stuck his nose out of his work to speak up while packing his puppets away.

"Shut up, dang it! I have never killed anything before, I don't even eat meat!" I stomped and flailed my fists, my braid fwipping in the air. Deidara and Sasori stared at me and Sasori spoke up,

"Didn't you threaten to eat Zetsu?" Deidara jumped and gave me a twitchy eye of shock before my reply,

"one just the leaf part and two, can we get going?" apparently for Sasori that was all the encouragement he needed and just started walking away, Deidara however stood staring for a moment before he snapped out of it.

Hee hee! Here we go! I ran in front and started running full speed sprint on the dirt road. Eventually I stopped and looked back; Deidara and Sasori were just standing there at the edge of the path where we got on,

"What are you waiting for? Hayaku!" (Hurry) I screeched. Sasori stated, and rather blandly,

"Wrong way."

"-Beeeeeeeeeeep-" I shouted.

I ran back and started to go the RIGHT way. This by the way, was LEFT!

"How come your so stu- absent minded, un?"

"urusai dang it! I'm not stupid I'm clumsy-minded" (CLUMSY-MINDED! Be afraid be very afraid)

After about an hour of gentle pace walking and not so gentle banter we arrived at a very poor town. I got to say, this ex-gennin guy must be some jerk because when we walked into town, EVERYONE hid. I mean, one moment ago, poor as it was, there were people selling stuff and attempting to farm. Then, poof! Gone.

We walked through the town and found the only house that wasn't a deteriorating shack.

Actually it was a pretty nice two-story house with a healthy garden and wooden fence. Nothing special in an average town, but here, it looked like the duke's manor.

"well, I bet I know who lives here." I started to walk to the door and Sasori stopped me.

"don't go in yet. wait till night time." I pouted and deadpanned.

"I'm I don't know about you, but I don't see in the dark." I glared at him.

"you have the byakugan."

"ooh. Right, I forgot about that." hehe. Heh. Yeah well, I meant it about the clumsy-minded comment.

Deidara tilted his head and looked at me quizzically,

"how do you forget about a stinking kekkei genkai doujustu, un?"

"I do not know. Have you ever forgotten you have mouths on your hands?"

"no. no I have not, un."

Sasori face palmed,

"he's lying."

Suddenly, the door swung open, a man with a basic black gennin uniform and a slashed takigakure hitai-ate. Personally, he looked like a stuck up jerk face, and probably was,

"who are you and what do you want?" honestly this man was either really stupid or he was living under a rock, evidently the 'twas not the latter choice, there fore,

"bakatare. How do you not know? Heh. Once you figure that out I think our intentions should be obvious." I smirked, acting cool is fun.

Sasori sighed and motioned to Deidara. The two of them walked away and sat on a nearby bench. My eye twitched. Great! Now all they need is some popcorn. Which I tried to do. I snapped my fingers, not bother to see if it worked.

"hey! What's with the corn, un!" I looked back, yes, he was holding a can of generic grocery store can o' corn. I grimaced and waved a hand of 'never mind'.

"oi, little -! I'm talking to you!" the man was very, very stupid to call me that.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" I turned to him with a byakugan death glare on my face. Wow, this dude must have a way with weapons or something like that because he did not have very much chakra.

Well I was right because a kunai whizzed past my ear shocking me out of my byakugan and he appeared behind me. I kicked backwards, clipping him just barely on the side of the stomach as he dodged. He punched at me. I ducked and grabbed his arm on my way back up. He kicked so I jumped up while still grabbing his arm causing him to slide underneath me so that he rolled aside just escaping me stepping on him. I heel down kicked him hard in the stomach,-

POOF!

"dang you kawarimi!"

I randomly ran over to Sasori, took a kunai, and ran back before he reacted. I realized I still had the kunai I took from Pein. Heh. Funny habit. I turned back to Sasori,

"is it poisoned?"

I guess that the ex-gennin jerk was out of seeing distance because Sasori nodded while shouting no. I turned my byakugan on. Hmm. What the-? He was just sitting there in his kitchen eating toast. That's it. I ran in.

"get over here you jerk! If you don't let me kill you I'll take your toast,…. And put nutella on it!"

A/n wooot! And the fight begins! Tell me how I am on fight scenes and if I need to change and thing.


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